Friday, March 09, 2007

I Think I'm Getting Old

Did you know you're not supposed to pluck your nose hairs because you could literally yank out chunks of skin and get a yucky infection? I excavated this nugget of nasal knowledge last night as I was working up the courage to eradicate a dozen or so of the unruly buggers (vs. boogers) with a set of fancy-schmancy tweezers purchased for this very purpose. I was curious why it hurt and made my eyes water sooooo effingbad.

I didn't find my answer but I was sort of stunned to learn that apparently I'm the only woman with this problem. Huh?! This site is one of many that suggests nose hair grows because of the male hormone DHT. "This explains why women don’t have to deal with the issue." Color me confused! Last I checked there wasn't anything dangling between my legs, yet my nose hairs could hold their own in any male competition. Perhaps I should take pics so I can blow the DHT theory out of the water? Nah. I wouldn't wanna gross you out and besides, what if I'm wrong, and further tests show I'm part-guy, triggering a massive identity crisis? Yikes. Might explain a thing or three tho. Hmmm. :P

I suppose this is just another example of how ignorant I am when it comes to "personal care". I'm not a disgusting slob, I shower and shave and all that on a regular basis (eeew! geez!), but I've never been terribly conscious or concerned with the overall image I project to the world. I make an effort to mostly match and be clean but I don't usually indulge in primping much further beyond that. The fact is I've never been much of a girly-girl.

My sister thinks I'm hopeless because I've never used an eyelash curler, never been tanning, never had a manicure, never been to Sephora or Ulta, and I get my hair cut the same two days of the year I get my teeth cleaned. I am more comfortable nude than in frilly get-ups, I think my agate collection is more interesting than a horde of precious gems, my watch is a timepiece rather than an accessory, and the most expensive pair of shoes I own cost about $25 (and they're certainly not heels).

This sane sister also has a tendency to "guide" my clothing choices before we go out together, and gives me the evil eye when someone compliments me on my shirt or necklace or something in public and I proceed to tell them it only cost me a quarter or a buck. hehe She can't comprehend that I really truly LOVE to shop at thrift stores because they have stuff you'll never find anywhere else (and cheap - how can you beat it?)!

So you can probably guess who pointed out my very first nose and chin hairs - not long after she discovered them on herself. lmao Gee I love you Kel!

Having said all that, I don't think I fit in the she-belongs-on-What-Not-To-Wear category. I will have you know that there was a period in my teen years when I chose my rock t-shirts with great care, and I experimented with lotsa purple eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and Aquanet. I even dyed my hair green, and shaved it in a checkerboard pattern (yep I was one of THOSE kids). Since then.... eh... notsomuch. I'd guesstimate that I've spent less than $1000 total on makeup, clothing, haircuts, etc. for myself in the last 15 years. Shocking, huh?

My attitude began changing when I hit 35 tho. Personal grooming products and services have somehow morphed from frivolities into necessities within my budget. Lately I look in the mirror and wonder who that old person is staring back at me. NOW I understood why makeup was invented. And now, a bottle of $6.99 Covergirl foundation seems woefully inadequate.

I want a professional to decide what colors/products are best for me, and I'm nearly ready to plunk down a significant amount of cash for a few little jars of prettiness potions. And then I think why stop there? A little Botox would go a really long way, and for that matter, I've always been a little self-conscious about my neck/chin so hey.... why not go under the knife? My lips are kinda thin too now that I think about it.... oh the possibilities.

Why did it take me this long to realize the world generally sees my unique characteristics as flaws to be fixed? Is it a bad thing or good thing to finally be coming to my senses? Does the fact that I'm actually starting to care mean I'm having a bit of a mid-life crisis? Do I really look as old as the mirror says? Have I crossed that chasm between "young adult" and "middle-aged woman"? Please tell me nooooooo, it's none of the above (even if you have to lie). Not that I have anything against middle-aged women, I'm just not ready to be one. Yet.

So anyway.... yesterday I decided to try to reclaim a bit of my youth by getting a fairly drastic haircut. And I think I like it! I'm not done tho... tonight the kids and I are going to play with hair dye. The end result should be light blonde and pink highlights against my natural dark blonde color, but with Britt orchestrating there are definitely no guarantees. LOL I'm also looking forward to seeing Noah with his naturally light blonde color again. It should be loads of fun... as I'm sure they'll want to mix it up a bit, and we all know I'm the last person to curb anyone's creativity!

I'll post before and after pics when we're done. Prepare yourself to be either awed by my beauty, or flat-out amused. hehe

5 Comments:

Blogger Laura said...

i can't wait to see your haircut sheila! I love that you are you, everyone else be damned. Makeup and all that jazz makes me feel good about myself, that's why I do it, Maybe that's what you're doing too. We deserve to spend a little moolah on ourselves!

I just went and got a perm on monday. I'm gonna have to take a picture for you.

3/12/2007 8:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know you, but I think you are great! I am now middle aged too and loving every minute of it! I dye my hair a medium auburn because I LIKE the color. I have also been known to pluck a couple of nose hairs too and can't wait for those babies to turn gray so maybe they will become invisible. Now I am waiting for some day when my eyebrows to start disappearing so I can start drawing them in with a pencil :) LOL! My mother assures me that it will happen! You are not alone girlie. Embrace it and keep on living!

3/13/2007 3:34 PM  
Blogger Jan said...

lol!
you're not alone in the world. there are many of us that have more of those male hormones swimming around in our female bodies than most people would think. it would be lovely if we all had perfect hormone balances, but it doesn't work that way, for some reason. at least in some cases, if you have one hormone that gets out of whack (high or low), it can send the other ones into a tizzy. that's what happens with women who have PCOS -- they build up high levels of insulin in the body, and the body responds (n part) by overcompensating on the male hormones. doesn't seem fair, does it? ;-) sure makes me feel like electrolysis ought to be covered by insurance....lol!! (they frown on covering anything "cosmetic", even if it has biological orgins, however ~sigh~). And it only gets worse as we get older, and our "female" hormones decline in quantity. Lovely! lol! Ah, well. I am what I am. :-) Hugs, and healthy shopping budget!

3/17/2007 11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL at you all. I heard on the news the other night that 55 was the new 30..WHOA!! YEEEEHAWWW! Since I'm 54 now, in May I turn 55 and I'm gonna be 30 again, and not have to deal with all the craziness that I had to deal with at that age!
BUT, that being said, I have to tell you, I don't wear makeup because, just as sure as I do, I'll have a hot flash and raise my arm up to wipe my sweaty brow and end up being two-toned. How attractive would that be? Not to even mention the fact that my sleeve would be wearing said makeup.
My lips, I'm rolling my eyes thinking about them. My bottom lip is just the perfect size to wear lipsticks, the top lip, on the other hand is so skinny that you couldn't see any lipstick I would put on it. If I used a lip liner, there would be a straight line across my mouth in one color, then my lovely bottom lip all lined and matched in a lovely shade. NO way Jose!
As far as the wild nose hairs go, ACK, it's better to just not look at them than to pluck them out..OMG, the pain, it's just not worth it!
Then there is the problem of those phantom hairs that grow 2 inches overnight!! Where do they come from, and WHYYYYY do they choose my neck or my ear to grow on?
I happended to glance in a close up mirror the other day and what do I see? A chin hair!!! OMG not those too!
I've given up fighting this stuff, If I find it so be it, but if you see this strangely striped "new 30ish" lady with a hairy nose and several extra long hairs sticking out of her neck or ears and chin, please try not to laugh too hard.
Thank you Sheila for the laugh and the pretty St Paddy's kit.

3/22/2007 5:12 PM  
Blogger Serena said...

Hey! We never got before and after pictures!! Inquiring minds wanna know!!! :D

4/05/2007 11:35 AM  

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