The Brilliance Astounds Me...

.......warning: some of the following content is seriously gross.......


So I'm sitting here tonight working alone in my bedroom with the door closed, totally in my zone...when all of a sudden I smell THE MOST rotten smell I've ever smelled in my entire life. I mean like 1000 times worse than vomit, and it was so strong and sudden. I jump up from my bed and run into the hallway, and discover my husband literally sucking crap out of the toilet with his wet/dry vac.

WTF?!

Granted, our toilet has been plugged for about 18 hours (we have another one to use). I *thought* dh had called the landlord, who had replaced this toilet a couple weeks ago - supposedly to fix the previous clogging/overflow problem we were having, but it's still happening. It's not our fault either, we're not trying to flush anything that shouldn't be flushed. Heck you could pee and not even wipe and it would get clogged (ewww...not that I'd do that...I'm just sayin').

So anyway dh, being too lazy to go downstairs and use the good toilet, suddenly decided to play plumber, despite the fact that he doesn't know a damn thing about plumbling. Brilliant idea there buddy.

Of course I TOTALLY FREAKED!!!!!

I hustled myself and the kids out to the deck and BEGGED through the screen for dh to come outside for air. I mean c'mon.....really now...do you not realize or simply not care that raw sewage is insanely toxic and the fumes can be lethal within minutes or even seconds when inhaled? (Doesn't everybody know this? Or is this privileged knowledge I only have - because my dad managed our city's wastewater treatment plant when I was growing up?)

I'm such a nerd........for the next hour I sat outside googling cases of sewage fume deaths trying to prove my case to dh, while he pretty much ignored me and tried to convince me he "knows what he's doing" (yep...uh huh...sure honey). I wanted to call the fire department and get a hotel for the night but he kept insisting I was over-reacting. I hope I was but I'm not so sure he didn't mess us all up for life (ok that might be a bit of a stretch).

Fortunately, the toilet seems to work now and the smell is gone (still really faint in the bathroom though) - thanks to me spraying half a bottle of Febreeze throughout the house, and running to Target for a new Filtrete air filter to capture any bacteria in the air. It was sooooooooooooo nasty...I'll never forget that smell. In fact my throat is sore and I can still "taste" the smell in my throat- if that makes any sense. Or maybe it's that sickly overpowering Febreeze smell - Lord knows I used enough of the stuff. Yuk yuk yuk. If I wake up with this sore throat I might go to the dr. to see what he says.

So yeah....that's how exciting my evening got. I think I got extra pissed because it forced me out of my zone and interrupted my work. And I couldn't even stand the smell long enough to snap any butt-crack pics to scrap (just to remind him he's NOT a plumber, if the urge happens to strike him again.)

OK gotta go make sure the kids are breathing and hit the hay.